Have to admit that lately my mind has even worse self-destructive thoughts than usually. At the very least, they are more explicit and violent in certain, admittedly creative ways, which leave me with nothing but exhaustion in my lungs. (I can’t breathe properly. I’m helpless and hopeless.)
Whatever I do, everything is too much/difficult/tiresome and even getting out of bed is an act that can take me hours. Hours I simply don’t have because I should be doing so much more.
Tbh I’m not quite sure how I’m supposed to get out of this; after all, this miserable mood has been going on and getting worse for weeks now and each attempt to climb out of this pit has been unsuccessful.
I’m covered in bruises and words, and I simply cannot stop sighing.
I’d cry if I had the energy to do so, I’d laugh about my hopelessness if it only helped me cope.
God. I want to disappear.