It‘s Thursday afternoon already and I feel beyond miserable. My back, head, and joints hurt incredibly much, making it difficult to concentrate on anything at all. The deadline for a sort of exam alternative is on Monday and I haven‘t managed anything yet despite trying. As soon as I sit down to work on it, I get confused and come up with seemingly 10 different ways to solve the tasks, none of which seem to be the actual right one.
I don‘t want to care about uni anymore.
I feel like I‘m way past my due date. I should have managed my BA in three years, should have been done in 2014, but by now it‘s 2016 and I feel worse and still hate myself. I‘m stuck with flashbacks of times long gone and more often than not, I catch myself thinking about my younger self/selves.
I hate the fact that it‘s been more than 10 years of this, I hate that even after all these years I still can’t say that fighting is worth it.