About.

A young woman’s attempt to fight against her mental disorders.

The opponents?

Depression.
Details: like an anchor, pulling the sufferer down, pushing her beneath the water surface; always making it difficult to breathe or to even stand up. This demon particularly likes to make her head feel terribly heavy, to make her body ache, while turning her mind into a place filled with countless screaming voices.

Borderline Personality Disorder.
Details: like a fire spreading all over her body and mind; stuck in a constant battle between different universes. These monsters are haunting her, and there is no room for sanity any longer.

Anorexia Nervosa.
Details: is like an invisible enemy, stretching out her long fingers after the sufferer’s throat and trying to suffocate her. Over the time she presses harder and harder, yet she still forces her to believe that she (the sufferer) needs her to survive, even though she is the one who is trying to take away her life.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
Details: is like a control-freak, acting like a cage or prison she simply can’t get out of. Constantly pushing her into a deeper mess, while weaving lots and lots of webs in front of the escape route, so she won’t be able to see any kind of light anymore.

Social Anxiety Disorder.
Details: working hand in hand with all the other disorders, making it terribly difficult for her to leave the house and to get through normal daily activities and other social concepts.

Sidekicks:
panic attacks, self harm, suicidal fantasies

The challenger?

D. Ema A.
Details: twenty-something writer and university student, trying to ‘crochet/write’ (or generally just: build up) a positive (and above all, stable) connection between her mind and body (and food and other things), and perhaps managing that way to find at least some sanity in her tiny world.


5 responses to “About.

  • Pinkjumpers

    I’ve really loved reading through your blog and as I tick a few boxes of the list above myself, I can in someway empathise with your writing!
    Hope everything goes well. 🙂

    • thetasteofwrittenwords

      On the one hand, it’s always great to find someone who is able to relate to what we are going through, yet, on the other hand, I cannot help but find it sad as well. I hope that you are doing well and that your life will get better.

  • paininzeeback

    You tug violently at my heart strings. The “mama” in me wants to hold you, rock you and try desperately to take your pain away. Having been a foster mom, I have seen all kinds of anguish the human spirit endures. My soul is screaming out “Please, don’t give up”. You are worth more than you will ever know.
    I have been bi-polar for as long as I can remember. I have PTSD. I have attempted suicide many times. I will not even begin to tell you I understand how you feel because each person’s journey is different and feels different. What I will tell you is that I am here for you if you ever want to talk. I will just listen and not try to tell you how to fix it. One of the most profound statements I have ever heard is, “I’m somebody cause God don’t make no junk”. Sometimes that helps me. Sometimes not.
    Please don’t hesitate to message me or email me any time, day or night. I have insomnia as well. Chances are I will be awake. I pray there will come a day when you will be able to find love ❤ for yourself.

    Many gentle hugs,
    Leah

  • paininzeeback

    I am not “too” kind. I am simply a fellow woman who has often times lived in a dark and terrifying prison from which there seemed no escape. If you are interested and have some private way of doing it, I will gladly give you my number. It is a number that can be called day or night. You can block your number if that makes you feel safer.
    You will never hear all that cliche crap that people like to say when they really don’t know what else to say. You don’t need me to tell you how strong you are. That is more than evident just by the fact that you are still here and hanging in there. I am not a professional of any sort. I will not give you advice. All I can do is listen, validate your feelings andIF you are interested I can share my experiences. Only IF you are interested.
    People often say they will be there if we need them but when it comes down to it, they are not. Please know that I am here for you and I mean it.
    Many gentle hugs,
    Leah

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