Tag Archives: emptiness

12.08.

i’m having a hard time; once again, i’m stuck on my own – with these thoughts, with these voices, these struggles, these demons. i don’t know if i’ll be able to go on, i don’t know if i care. i feel like i should, but with exhaustion seeping through these bones, it’s too..difficult?

i don’t know.

there are things i still wanna do, but i’m suffocating. there are only so many hits i can take. what if i’ve finally reached my limit?

will you let me go?

Advertisements

In three pieces.

One.
Hour after hour I find myself right here in this bed, unable to do anything but stare blankly ahead.
I feel nothing.
Nothing at all.
This emptiness is blurring my walls.
I’m disappearing.
The void is swallowing my voice.
Am I even real?

Two.
I’m consumed.
This is too much (t o o  m u c h,  t  o  o   m  u  c  h).
My chest is on fire.
It’s like I was stabbed, again and again, only to be left exposed.
Don’t look.
This isn’t for you to see. And yet,
I wonder if I opened my skin now, would you be able to understand my thoughts?
It hurts. The stitches keeping me together are slowly being pulled apart.
H/e/l/p/m/e.

Three.
I woke up without certainty.
My mind feels clouded and I’m sure my lips are shivering not because of this cold.
A decision has been made.
Even if it isn’t the right one. Even if it doesn’t please you.
Today is my last day.
I
give
up.


Follow @othertypist


Emptiness

I sit and stare,
listen
to you talk.
Maybe if you took
a second,
you would realise
your screaming lost all its
meaning.

I am long gone.
Not yours
to
abuse anymore.
I vanished.


N.

Empty, yet not hollow.
The heart in my chest
is beating, the truth
I cannot help but swallow.

Your eyes are focused on me.
I‘m not blind, I‘m aware
that you speak of worry, but
your redemption I cannot be.

You speak of caring.
Yet at times like these,
this darkness consuming me
is all I am wearing.

For me this isn‘t a game.
This wall of protection is
not for show, it hides the
ghastly monster that I became.