Tag Archives: poem

(untitled)

Your words,
spreading like wildfire,
set each fibre aflame.
The smoke,
engulfing my insides,
is suffocating me with shame.


Do not.

BPD is killing me.
Once again,
[Don’t touch me.]
rage, so violent
[Don’t come close to me.]
hatred, seething through these veins
[Don’t talk to me.]
bitterness, too venomous to ignore
[Don’t be here.]
are running through my pores, sticking to my skin –
[Don’t touch me. Don’t come close. Don’t talk. Don’t be.]
leaving a trail of
fire
[Don’t.]
behind. If only tearing
my body apart,
[Don’t.]
exposing these insides
[Don’t.]
helped for more than mere minutes.
[Don’t.]
Yet these minutes
[Don’t.]
are keeping me alive.
[Leave.]


To whom it may concern

I am not what you need,
nothing
but darkness, a mere rain cloud.
Used to be called sunshine,
but even that had to end some time.

I am not what you need,
nothing
but an anchor pulling you down.
Wished I could be an angel, if only
for you, yet this demon cannot fly.

I am not what you need, but my
God,
I wish I was, wish I could be.
Still I fear that as much as I’d love
to be your happiness, I am not.

I am not what you need, but I am
here;
not for long, not forever. My life’s
curtain is falling
finally.


Not yours (Part 1)

Years of fighting,
still not enough.
Nights spend bleeding,
this life’s tough.

Demons in these minds,
tearing us apart.
People are watching,
thinking it’s art.

Pain’s not fascinating
despite words of charm.
These bruises not pretty,
just hell’s way of harm.

Don’t turn away,
when darkness appears,
these are our lives,
these are our fears.


Perhaps it’s something else

I’m sad
because inside of me I’m constantly fighting,
losing
against the demons in my head.
While they are grinning,
tears are running down my face.

I’m sad
because their screaming is louder than my
pleading
for help; I am trapped, alone.
Poison is running through my veins,
my reflection is distorted.

I’m sad
because the darkness is me, and I am
afraid
of tainting you with my touch.
It is only a matter of time
until I have lost my worth.


Desire.

Let me be one of the stars,
I no longer wish to remain.
Being on this earth is agony,
staying is nothing but vain.

The night sky above is calling,
it’s reaching out for my soul.
These demons living within me
are trying to swallow me whole.

And I know I promised to resist,
yet this heart is weary of time.
My bones are heavy and cold
as I write down this final rhyme:

I’ve fought each gloom and light,
sought peace and quiet in art.
But the ink that used to define me
tore me step by step apart.


(morning)

I cannot breathe,
suddenly,
cannot think straight. I am
stuck.
My end is looming over my head
like a guillotine; I am
waiting.
For a sign, the right moment, an
excuse to not give in – yet
there is neither. I am
alone,
torn.
It is time.


i am (untitled)

I am thunder,
disrupting your day, breaking your smile.
I am darkness,
the one thing you hate to love, yet need.
I am my demons,
no longer on anyone’s side,
I am the end of time,
the nightmare that you feed.


(BPD)

I am too much
in every possible way.
I am anger and hatred,
trapped in black-&-white, not grey.

I am sadness and hurt,
exhaustion and fear;
first pushing you away,
then needing you near.

Feel like a time bomb
each day and night.
There is no hope left,
and certainly no light.

This year is the last one,
no need to cry.
Once I’m gone, it’s done;
just don’t ask why.


(tw: never mind)

Silence is like a knife
twisting within my gut.
My demons, using the break
to pull apart my mind.
Perhaps this is it. Perhaps
I should leave. After all,
no reason to stay is
a good reason to go.